Chai & Matcha Diaries

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Have you ever wondered why the Japanese often say “恥ずかしい” (hazukashii)? It’s because they are deeply conscious of “人目” (hitome)—the attention or judgment of others. In Japan, being aware of how you are perceived by those around you plays a significant role in daily behavior.

Take the silence on Japanese trains, for example. it’s rare to see people talking on their phones in crowded public places, especially in trains. While in other cultures it might be common to have a casual phone conversation in public, Japanese people often refrain from this because it can disrupt the peace and quiet that others expect. Similarly, public announcements in Japan regularly remind passengers to put their phones on silent mode and avoid making calls in the train.

When the Japanese say “恥ずかしい,” it’s not always about feeling embarrassed in the traditional sense. Instead, it reflects their concern about how others view their actions.

For instance, it’s uncommon for Japanese people to eat on trains, not because they’re ashamed, but because they’re conscious of the possibility of troubling others—what if the food spills, or the smell bothers someone, or they attract unwanted attention? To avoid drawing 人目 (attention), they refrain from doing things that might stand out or cause discomfort.

And the importance of “人目” is evident in many expressions in the Japanese language, such as:

• 人目をはばからずに (without worrying about others’ attention)
• 人目がつく (being in a noticeable place)
• 人目を引く (to attract attention)
• 人目を避ける (to avoid attention)
• 人目がうるさい (being overly concerned with others’ opinions)

This mindset is also reflected in the well-known Japanese proverb, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” (出る釘は打たれる), emphasizing the cultural preference for conformity.

Even fashion choices reflect this mindset. Brands like Muji and Uniqlo are popular in Japan for their minimalist designs. Their plain, neutral-colored clothing and simple, functional products embody the idea of blending in rather than standing out.

It’s not just about personal preference, but also about not attracting unnecessary 人目. This is why Japanese people often prefer understated fashion—they value simplicity and harmony over flamboyance, which ties back to the cultural desire to avoid being the “nail that sticks out.”

So, when visiting Japan, it’s worth keeping in mind the concept of “人目” and perhaps avoiding actions that draw unnecessary attention—人目を引かないように (try not to stand out).