Reva’s POV
I think I knew this was going to happen.
Jace… I don’t care if people say we don’t look perfect together, or if they think you’re not “good looking enough.”
For me, ever since I saw you—I wanted you.
And I don’t know what you did to me.
You turned me into someone I never dared to be.
“What a handsome guy!!”
Seriously, I’ve never said something like that out loud.
I never had to please a guy. They all tried to impress me.
But you? You just stood there, staring at me like I was something you’d already figured out.
When we first met, I was talking to Hari, but I could feel your gaze—steady, unreadable.
It made me nervous in the most infuriatingly thrilling way.
I couldn’t even look at you. So I kept talking to Hari, pretending you didn’t exist.
But you didn’t even flinch. That made it worse.
So I had to leave.
But then… I didn’t.
I turned back—like some teenager in a dumb movie—and blurted out,
“Oh my God—what a handsome guy!”
Ugh. That was so unlike me. But I had to try.
Maybe that’s what got your attention. I don’t know.
What do you see in me, Jace?
Because I know what I see in you.
You make me uncomfortable in the most pleasing way, just by looking at me.
You never had to try too hard.
But, I always felt like we weren’t meant to be.
Like you’re someone I can’t keep.
I tried to stay away.
I told myself it would fade.
But then there was Jenna’s gift, your house party, your messages, your gifts… your kiss.
You kept showing up. And every time, you made me believe—just for a second—that maybe this could work.
Even when my heart was drowning in doubts.
But now…
Have you realized it too, Jace?
That I’m not good enough for you?
I know it.
And I think… now you know it too.
Maybe that’s why I keep texting you those cliché good mornings, and you don’t even send good nights.
I keep telling myself it’s the age gap. You’re 33. I’m 27.
Probably a mindset difference.
But the truth?
You don’t even try to erase my doubts.
Or maybe it’s too much to expect you to.
I don’t know.
All I know is—I wasn’t wrong.
I always knew this wouldn’t be easy.
And maybe… it’s not even worth it.
For you, I mean.
Because you’re the one who’s pulling away.
You didn’t even reply to my message:
“So when are we meeting again?”
Am I being too clingy?
Maybe.
But I don’t know this version of myself.
I used to struggle with low self-confidence. But now?
I’m just angry.
No matter how “low” I might be in my career or status—this is not how you treat someone you once kissed.
You kissed me, Jace.
So yes, I have expectations.
And if that makes me weak—then so be it.
But you know what?
I’m not going to be played.
Not by you. Not by anyone.
I stood at the mirror, doing my night skincare, fuming.
It’s 11 PM. I should’ve been asleep at 10.
Instead, I’m overthinking this whole stupid situation I’ve fallen into.
I made my bed, finally deciding—enough is enough.
And then… Jace’s message lit up my screen.
“Hey, it’s pretty late. I’m sorry I couldn’t text you any sooner.
If you’re up, I really want to talk.”
Really want to talk?
Really?
Liar.
You say you want to meet—but never say when.
You say you’ll call—but never do.
I know you’re going to ghost me again.
But I still texted:
“I’m here.”
Anyway, I should probably just sleep now.
But then—ping.
“I’m calling.”
Oh, you lia—
Wait.
You’re actually calling.
My heart froze.
I’m not ready for this.
What do I even say?
But no.
Get a grip, Reva.
You have to clear things out—before he toys with you again.
I picked up.
“Hey,” I said—barely a whisper.
Did he feel the distance?
“Hey Reva,” he said, too cheerful, “I’m so happy I can finally talk.”
Oh wow. He didn’t. Self-obsessed guy.
“Very busy these days, huh?” I said, trying to sound casual. “Hope it’s not too tough. And you’re taking enough rest, I hope?”
Yeah, I’m concerned—why am I concerned?
“Oh, not at all! It’s fun actually, Reva. Hectic, yes—but I have no complaints. Our blueprint is solid and investors are really into it. The pitching went great!”
Wow. He’s way too happy.
“Hmmm.”
That’s all I could manage, with the last bit of energy I had left.
“Umm… I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier, even though I said I would,” he added. “I literally passed out.”
“Well—you didn’t ask, but just so you know—I’ve been busy too,” I said, my voice flat. “So it’s not that big of a deal.”
Ew. That wasn’t even true. Why did I say that?
“Oh, that’s a relief,” he said with a soft chuckle.
A relief? Really? You moron.
“It’s late, Jace. I should get to bed,” I said, cutting the conversation short. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Thanks for staying up this late. Good night, Reva.”
We hung up.
I stared at the screen.
He didn’t ask how I was doing.
He didn’t notice I wasn’t okay.
Or maybe he did—and just didn’t care.
Or… is it just me?
Am I overthinking again?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s my insecurity.
Maybe it’s because I need too much.
Maybe I’m just too sensitive.
But still—
I’m done feeding this feeling.
I’m not going to text you anymore, Jace.
Not until you text me first.
—
It’s been four days.
Four whole days since our last call.
The first two mornings, I didn’t send my usual “Good morning 💛.”
He didn’t ask why.
Didn’t even seem to notice.
Just a dry little ping.
“Hey.”
I stared at it longer than I’d like to admit.
Typed back—
“Hey.”
Short. Lifeless. Just like the space between us.
Then came the weekend.
I figured, maybe now—now that he has time, he’d want to see me.
He finally texted.
“Want to meet?”
I typed without hesitation:
“I can’t, gotta meet my friend.”
Could I have met him?
Yeah.
Did I want to cancel on Sim, who’s been by my side through all my moods and breakdowns?
No.
Sim and I had the most comforting, chaos-free day.
Food, Netflix, endless chatter. No crying over guys. No second-guessing every text.
Just us being loud, real, and full of life.
But of course, he came up.
She asked, “Why don’t you just ask him where this is going?”
I paused, mid-bite.
Chewed slower.
I didn’t want to admit I’d thought about it too.
But I had. Of course I had.
Still… why does it have to be me?
Why do I have to be the one to clarify, to chase answers, to risk the silence?
Just to prove I wasn’t lying about my plans, I posted a photo of me and Sim on Instagram.
I don’t know if he saw it.
I hope he did.
I don’t even know why that matters.
And today, Monday morning arrived.
I went through work like a ghost in automation mode.
But Sim’s words kept echoing inside me.
By the time evening slipped in, I was already standing outside his office building.
I hadn’t planned this.
Half-intentional. Half-instinct.
I didn’t text him I was coming.
I didn’t even fully tell myself why I was there.
I just… needed to see him.
I walked past reception, nodding at the familiar faces.
The path to his cabin felt too well-known, like muscle memory.
His door creaked open—empty.
Just as I turned to leave, footsteps.
Hari.
“Reva? Wow, long time,” he smiled warmly. “All good? You don’t come around much these days.”
I gave a half-smile. “Yeah… been busy.”
Through the glass partition, I spotted Jace.
He was inside a nearby meeting room—talking passionately, animated, pointing to something on a screen.
That glow in his eyes. That calm authority.
God, I hated how magnetic he could be.
He saw me.
Eyes widened, just a bit.
Then he held up two fingers.
Two minutes.
I nodded and stepped into his office.
The room smelled like him—earthy, clean, something expensive I could never name.
I sat down on the grey couch near the window, heart thudding.
I didn’t know what version of Jace I was going to see today.
And honestly, I didn’t know what version of me I was about to be either.
The door clicked open.
“Reva… I’m so glad you’re here.”
His voice was light—too light.
Like nothing had happened.
Like I hadn’t spent nights debating whether I even mattered to him anymore.
That tone… was it fake?
Or had he really become that numb to how I’d been feeling?
I gave him a smile that barely made it past the corners of my mouth.
“You didn’t call. So… I thought I’d drop by.”
He shut the door gently behind him, eyes flickering with something unreadable.
“Yeah… I’m sorry. I’ve been swamped. I’m flying to Dubai tonight— prepping for the investor meet.”
“Wow,” I said, flatly.
“That’s… great.”
He stepped closer, his hand brushing my arm—too soft, too casual.
“Hey…” His eyes finally scanned my face, and maybe—just maybe—he noticed the stiffness in my expression.
“I was actually planning to visit you today,” he added, almost sheepishly. “Outside your office.”
I tilted my head, brows raised. “Really? Or are you just saying that now because I showed up?”
His jaw shifted slightly. “Did I do something wrong?”
I blinked.
“Texting? Calling? Reaching out? You’ve stopped all of that. So no, Jace. You actually did nothing.”
The sharpness in my voice surprised even me.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“This… this is exactly what I was afraid of. I told you on calls, didn’t I?”
“Told me what?”
“That I’m busy.”
“And what were you afraid of, Jace?”
My voice was lower now. Not calm. Just quieter.
Like something was beginning to crack.
“That you wouldn’t understand.”
A pause stretched in the room, thick and brittle.
“Right,” I scoffed. “So I should just… understand that you’re busy, and that gives you permission to forget about us?”
He looked genuinely taken aback.
“See? Now you’re putting pressure on me,” he said, his voice rising for the first time.
“I didn’t mean that. I’m simply busy, Reva.”
I felt it like a slap—simply busy.
Like I was the complicated one.
Like caring too much was an inconvenience.
That was the first time Jace had ever raised his voice at me.
I stood up, pulse thudding behind my ears.
“So now I’m putting pressure on you?”
I let out a laugh. It wasn’t amused.
It was hollow. Bitter.
“Classic.”
His mouth opened, but no words came out.
“Fine,” I said, reaching for the door, my hand trembling slightly.
“i will not… in fact never put pressure on you again. Sorry for not understanding that you are busy.”
I walked to the door, heart heavy, hands trembling.
“Reva—wait…”
But he didn’t follow.
He didn’t reach out.
He didn’t stop me.
And that told me everything I needed to know.
Because Jace only shows up when it’s easy.
When it fits his schedule.
When love is convenient.
These rich, ambitious men… they want the thrill, the comfort, the company—but not the commitment.
I’m not someone’s escape plan.
So I walked out.
And this time, I didn’t look back.
Goodbye, Jace.
Go chase your dreams.
I have mine too.
Chai & Matcha Diaries 
Leave a comment